Warning: If you don’t want to be bored to tears with absolutely no payoff, please skip this entry. There’ll be better things to come than this.
While we’ve decided that we don’t want to know the baby’s gender before birth, it’s kinda fun to speculate, doncha think? So begins my run-in with the Chinese birthing chart.
This ancient Chinese chart is supposed to be incredibly accurate when it comes to determining the baby’s gender. Wouldn’t it be interesting to find out what it predicts? However, there’s a catch: it should be read using Heidi’s lunar age based on the Chinese lunar calendar, as opposed to her Western calendar age.
I sensed a challenge: How does one figure out Heidi’s lunar age?
Really, trust me. This is where you should stop reading. But if you insist...
Well, we need to determine her age based on days in a lunar month, which, according to the website above is about 29 days.
Heidi was born December 25, 1974 in
The Chinese Year of the Tiger. She’s lived through 8 leap years, but it was only seven at the approximate time of conception: early February 2004.
So let’s take 7 leap years x 366 days = 2,562
The remaining full 21 years x 365 days = 7,665
Then the 6 days in 1974 + the approximately 31 days before conception = 37
2,562 + 7,665 +37 = 10,264 days she was alive around the time of conception. Whew.
Now a lunar month is approximately 29 days, right?
So figuratively, 29 days x 12 months = 348 days = one lunar “year”, right?
And that 10,264 days of Heidi’s life divided by 348 days of the lunar year = 29.5 lunar years and jeez, it’s the same as her actual age and really what’s the point of converting it, RIGHT?
Well, here’s where it begins to get confusing (or where everyone stops reading):
Let’s look at the past, current and future
Chinese Lunar New Years:
Last year, the year of the Ram, was February 1, 2003 thru January 21, 2004. In the Western calendar, that’s 355 days (365 – Jan 03’s 31 days + 21 days in 2004).
However, the current Year of the Monkey runs from January 22, 2004 thru February 8, 2005. That’s
384 Western days (366 – Jan 04’s 21 days + 39 days in 2005). That’s an extra 29 days!!!!
And the following Year of the Frustrated Father-to-be (February 9, 2005 thru January 28, 2006) goes back to only 354 days.
WHAT GIVES?
Well, apparently, the Year of the Monkey is
a Chinese leap year - with an entire LEAP MONTH!!! This has something to do with the phases of the moon, etc., and it happens
every 2.7 to 3 years, etc., and I’ve already bored myself (and anyone who bothers to stumble through all this tripe) with too much calculation to try and figure out how this changes Heidi’s lunar age.
Frankly, no one’s got this much free time, and in all actuality, I no longer care.
So, in essence, here’s what I learned:
1. I hate the Chinese, not as individuals, but because their chart caused my head to hurt. I also now understand why there are over
60,000 characters in the Chinese language. They literally want to confuse everyone to tears.
2. This chart is for entertainment purposes only, and really no credence should be paid to its accuracy or lack thereof. Unless, of course, it’s correct. And who, other than a mathematician or an astronomer, would ever be able to figure that out?
3. We’ll find out soon enough.
4. If I really want to know, I should just tip the ultrasound guy a $20.
