crazy legs: the blog

Friday, September 24, 2004

Week 34...and there's no turning back now

A little over a month left! Wow. Can't believe the CL's almost here. It's going to be a bit weird calling the baby by his/her actual name, instead of Crazy Legs. And yet, we've been practicing it all along. I put my face right up against Heidi's tummy and start talking and making goofy noises, just so the baby will recognize my voice and demeanor upon arrival into our big, frightening world.

Heidi's feeling a little sickly lately, not because of CL, but perhaps a slight cold. She's hoping to feel better soon, since this weekend we'll be getting out of town in order to celebrate our 3rd anniversary (actually it's 9/29, this coming Wednesday). We'll be in Milwaukee (ja der hey) staying in a sister hotel of the quaint 52 Stafford in Plymouth, Wis. where we spent our wedding night.

In the meantime, she's trying to get lots of R&R in to nurse her cold, as well as to prepare herself for... well, you know.



Mother:
Your body is really getting ready and you may notice that you have more and more contractions that seem less and less like practice! This is a great sign that your body is getting ready!

Let's go over some of the labor basics.
Labor is broken down into three major stages:

First Stage

This begins when you start to have regular contractions that increase in frequency and intensity. Make sure you know how to time contractions. Usually you will start off slowly, nearly always questioning if this is really labor. Bear in mind that a lot of women have wandered around for a bit feeling like they had the flu or were just really sleepy. The contractions will then pick up and you will be in the active phase of the first stage of labor. Contractions are more intense and come more frequently, usually requiring more of your attention. Somewhere between this active phase and the next phase, transition, you will change to your place of birth. Transition is the short but hard part of labor. Transition has contractions coming very close together, but they never actually feel any stronger than the contractions of the active phase. At the end of transition you will be completely dilated!

Second Stage

This is the fun part! You begin this stage completely dilated! You will begin pushing your baby into this world. Most women really enjoy the pushing stage, they say that they feel more actively involved. Your contractions will get further apart and feel differently. If you have been unmedicated you will feel the urge to push. If you have been medicated you may or may not feel the urge to push and will be directed at how to proceed. If there is an episiotomy done, it will be done at the end of this stage. There is quite a debate about the need and use of episiotomies on a routine basis. The end of the second stage will be marked by the birth of your baby!

Third Stage

This is the anticlimax! You are holding your lovely baby and anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour later they will want you to give a few small pushes to get the placenta out. Most women are so wrapped up in their babies that they always say, "I forgot about the placenta!" Nursing your baby right away will help speed up a third stage or control any bleeding that you are having.

Baby:

Baby is continuing to get bigger! Four pounds seven ounces (2 kilograms) and a length of 42.5 cms or 16.8 inches. The hormones from the placenta are starting to activate the milk in your breasts. Did you know that the baby urinates almost a pint a day! Watch out diapers here you come!

A pint a day! Good lord!

Okay, the first stage of labor sounds pretty neat, if a bit nerve-racking.
I had no idea Heidi was able to "practice" contracting. The body is pretty amazing, housing fetuses until they're ready, and then allowing the mother rehearsal time. How cool is that? But that's only the beginning.

How I Envision the Labor Stages

First Stage

Heidi will be calling me or waking me up and telling me she thinks she's in labor. If I don't pass out then, we'll grab our bags and hit the road for the hospital. And I swear, I'll try to remember where it is.

Second Stage

After 2 hours of rush hour traffic and wrong turns, we'll arrive at the hospital. Heidi will be sweating, swearing and genuinely uncomfortable. The nurses will send me running for ice chips because I'll be constantly in their way. I'll make phone calls all over the country until my cell phone battery dies. Heidi will suddenly relax after being given a hearty epidural. Crazy Legs will come surfing out in about 20 or 22 hours.

Third Stage

Heidi will be crying. CL will be crying. I'll be crying, and trying to avoid cutting that umbilical cord. At some point, passing out will occur. Then the Cubs will win the World Series, Bush will be ousted from the White House, we'll begin our new family and all will temporarily be right with the world.

Fourth Stage (The Great Unknown)

Then we'll get the bill. Oh yes, and the nursery will finally get finished.

2 Comments:

  • Can't slip one by, not even once.

    More and more, however, I'm starting to realize that neither one of these candidates is right for a world with Crazy Legs.

    So, we're moving to Afghanistan.

    By Blogger Patrick, at 9:19 PM  

  • For the record, after 5 straight weeks of going to Baby Birthin' classes every Monday night, Patrick did indeed make a wrong turn to the hospital last night before our last class. Can anyone out there volunteer to be on call for me in about 4-5 weeks?? My confidence is a little shaken in my designated driver :)

    By Blogger Heidi, at 9:06 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home